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From : BrianNelson123
Added: Mar 24, 2009
Click http://www.NelsonIdeas.com You can play this while you surf your computer. If you subscribe by clicking on the yellow button Youtube will e-mail you each time Brian puts up a new video. Please make your comments below on YouTube Computer is talking for Brian Nelson in Houston, Texas who has lost half his voice. You can see his Larynx through a camera put down his nose to see his Voice Box on other Youtube videos. YOU THINK ENGLISH IS EASY? HOW ABOUT THESE STATEMENTS? 1.The bandage was wound around the wound. 2. The farm was used to produce produce. 3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. 4. We must polish the Polish Furniture. 5. He could lead if he would get the lead out. 6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. 7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. 8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. 9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes. 10. I did not object to the object. 11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid person. 12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. 13. They were too close 2 the door to close it. 14. The buck does funny things, when the does are still present. 15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line. 16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to how to sow crops. 7. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. 18. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a painful tear. 19. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. 20. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? 21. Let's face it - English is a very crazy language. 22. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger. 23. neither apple nor pine in pineapple. 24. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. 25. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. 26. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly and remember boxing rings are still square. And also a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it from a pig. 25. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing? I dont understand that one. It is not funny to a computer like me. 26 If the plural of tooth is teeth, then why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? 27. You can have 1 goose, but you call 2 gooses just geese. Ha ha. 28. So is one moose, called 2 meese if you have a couple of them? 29. You can have 1 index, but 2 indices? Now that one is hard to understand for a computer voice like me Michael. 30. Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? 31. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? An odd or is it an end? 32. If teachers taught, why don't Preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Humans? Ouch. That is sick. Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. We have a digital cemetery for people like that.33. In what language do people recite at a play and then what do they play at a recital? 34. I like this. We ship by truck and send cargo on a ship? 35. Did you humans ever think that you have noses that run and but you have feet that smell? 36. Hey??? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same thing while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? 37. You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down? Neat Heat eh? 38. So then you have to fill in a form just by filling it out? 39. Did you know an alarm goes off by just by going on.? 40..English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. 41. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. That is a shady joke. 42. You lovers of the English language might enjoy this. It is a very long one but it is really interesting to me a computer voice. 42. There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP'. I hope you are up for this. 43. It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? 43. At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? 44. Why do we speak UP? 45. We polish UP the silver; then we warm UP the leftovers and still have to clean UP the kitchen. If you subscribe by clicking on the yellow button Youtube will email you each time I talk for Brian Nelson. 68. Make your comments below on YouTube
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