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Videos from “TheOnion” (25 video results)
Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
11 year old Thomas Demming visits Today NOW! with the magical friend he hid for weeks in his bedroom closet.
Added: 1 week ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 459765
4.0
03:14
More in: Shows
Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
Officials say the President's home teleprompter is simply a tool to make sure pillow talk with Michelle or conversations with his Mother-In-Law go smoothly.
Added: 1 week ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 154654
4.0
02:39
More in: Shows
Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
Ford says the '93 Taurus is the only car to drive in 2010, and they think Americans will have no other choice but to agree.
Added: 3 weeks ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 222699
4.0
01:47
More in: Comedy
Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
Honors student Rebecca Bunten died in the crash today, leaving the nation to wonder why the grisly experience of burning alive was not reserved for...
Added: 3 weeks ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 301814
4.0
01:51
More in: Shows
Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game
People are breathing a sigh of relief today for the long-suffering spectators' sudden deaths, and for the total elimination of the Clippers' roster off the face of the earth....
Added: 4 weeks ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 198861
4.0
02:21
More in: Shows
Finding Masculine Halloween Costumes For Your Effeminate Son
Anna Stephenson stops by Today NOW! to show parents of girly sons costume tips to survive Halloween without accentuating their child's already obvious homosexuality.
Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 447811
4.0
02:52
More in: Shows
Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting
In The Know panelists call Biden's decision to sneeze in the middle of a high level policy meeting 'disgusting' and 'completely inappropriate.'
Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 108746
4.0
02:34
More in: Shows
Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Jewel Heist
Steam Room analysts debate whether the International Fencing Federation should rein in this rogue, or if De La Croix will narrowly escape yet again.
Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 83534
4.0
02:50
More in: Shows
Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just For Woman He Follows
Dan Kellogg visits Today NOW! with money tips for one particular woman who forgot to close her bedroom drapes last night.
Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 105384
4.0
02:04
More in: Shows
Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire
White House officials are confident the President will be able to convince the wildfire to stop incinerating large swaths of land and American homes.
Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 141054
4.0
02:47
More in: Shows
Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans
Panelists discuss whether Obama's openly loving, considerate family is a slap in the face to the average American who only bears feelings of resentment towards relatives....
Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 139681
4.0
02:27
More in: Shows
Crime Reporter Links Warehouse Fire To Depraved Sex Act
On Raw Justice, host Dean Reid investigates the closed case of an 'accidental' fire and finds shocking new evidence of sexually motivated arson
Added: 1 month ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 85944
4.0
03:05
More in: Shows
Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
8 year old Lucas Armitage has become a national hero after bravely defending his home by shooting a burglar multiple times in the chest and neck.
Added: 2 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 370170
4.0
02:27
More in: Shows
BREAKING NEWS: BAT LOOSE IN CONGRESS
Congress is deadlocked on the best way to get a bat out of their committee chamber.
Added: 2 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 102820
4.0
03:15
More in: Shows
Report: Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination From Old Poor
As Americans rush to join the Nouveau Poor, panelists debate the claim that the newly poor are incapable of integrating with long established poor...
Added: 2 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 104834
4.0
02:44
More in: Shows
U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan
Innocent civilians across the impact zone are picking up the pieces after Secretary of State Clinton's tedious visits to their farms, cultural centers.
Added: 2 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 140724
4.0
02:29
More in: Shows
Americans Observing 911 By Trying Not To Masturbate
Americans say attending a 911 vigil or observing a moment of silence to only then come home to jerk off is disrespectful and wrong.
Added: 2 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 210242
4.0
01:45
More in: Shows
NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions
Thanks to the NFL's Mentoring Program, the Lions got to spend a fun-filled day with the pros learning to catch, tackle.
Added: 2 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 146828
4.0
01:49
More in: Shows
Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids
'E-Mom' Gloria Bianco shows Jim and Tracy how geographical distance is no longer a roadblock to shamelessly interfering with the lives of your children.
Added: 2 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 455324
4.0
02:48
More in: Shows
Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?
In The Know panelists discuss the closing of the controversial detainee labyrinth and debate whether the Minotaur's sternum-stomping-by-hooves interrogation technique yielded ...
Added: 3 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 168923
4.0
02:40
More in: Shows
Sudden Ominous Music Heard Across U.S., Nation Panicking
Government officials have not determined the source of the music or what it could portend, but they urge Americans to avoid deserted mansions, woods, and eerily quiet lake ...
Added: 3 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 346693
4.0
02:49
More in: Shows
White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase
White House officials admit Obama's extreme confidence and total euphoria over "hope" and "change" were symptoms of a prolonged manic episode.
Added: 3 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 276612
4.0
02:30
More in: Shows
Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women
Women Deserve Better says PETA abuses defenseless, simple-minded women by forcing them to remove their clothing and participate in humiliating...
Added: 3 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 252310
4.0
02:19
More in: Shows
Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village
Web users who choose to move to the desolate village are guaranteed an environment free from Google products and natural light from the sun.
Added: 3 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 207596
4.0
02:18
More in: Shows
Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive
Child safety expert and ex-pedophile Terry Parker drops in on the morning show to share some insider tips from his years spent as a sex offender!
Added: 3 months ago
From: TheOnion
Views: 260783
4.0
02:16
More in: Shows

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